Arrival of Dana Sufiya - Part 1 (The Fear)

The chronologies begin...

5.00 am

Woke up and did the morning prayer as usual. I remember the feeling of nervousness, anxiousness and 'worriness' (if there is such a word) all mixed up with the 'excitedness' to accept a new family member in our small family. Took a long warm shower to calm the feeling, and remember snuggled in dearest husband arms for comfort and assurances, and kissing litle umair to wake him up from deep slumber. Husband performed morning prayer while I tried to be as calm as I could to explain to lil prince that later during the day I won't be joining him at night at home, as I usually do.

7.00 am

Dressed for the 'day' and managed to sneak update status in FB. I just wear a simple pregnant gown, a socks and will be wearing a newly bought Crocs sandal to the hospital. I was so touched to read that so many people pray for us, and wishing us the best. I remember I was strangely calm all the morning. I remember that I need to keep in fasting mode, and my last meal was a quick supper of a peel of banana and a glass of plain water at 10.00pm earlier. I hope that would be enough time of fasting needed for the big operation. Dearest husband and son went down to living dining area earlier for breakfast before I join them for the daily 'morning gathering'.

8.30 am

Everybody went together to the hospital to offer supports, daddy, abang baby and titie. My husband then registered my name at the Admission & Hospitalization Counter before allowed to go to the tenth floor, where the Labour and Maternity Departments situated. I remember the heavy feeling in my womb, as if the baby was ready to be born at that very moment. I wonder how much weight has the baby gained by today, I hoped she would be as almost as the same weight as her brother.

We were showed the room where I would be stayed for the next 5 days. A week earlier we had requested a single room and we managed to get one nice spacious room, room number 189. We could see Brussels from bird's eye view. Even the famous Atomium is visible from the window. Later after we're familiarized with the room, I was met by my midwife for the day, her name is Sophie. She's very young, I guess she must be around 25th. I think she must be a midwife in training. She brought me the special hospital gown (if you watched Dr. House series, you'll know what kind of gown I was wearing) and told that I need to change before wheeled into the operation room.

Later, another nurse came (I forgot her name) and inserted an I.V. tube to my hand. It was quite difficult at first as she explained that my hand was slightly swollen because of the water retention I’ve had during pregnancy. She couldn't get through the left hand's vein, and finally the tube went though my right hand, leaving 2 brown needle bruises (ouch.. I just not quite acquainted to needles..).

10.30 am

I still can’t forget how helplessly my son cried reaching for me when I was then wheeled to the operation room. He desperately struggled to escape titie’s holding arms when seeing me that way. I remember holding my heartache seeing him that way. He knew something big was going to be happened to mummy, yet he couldn’t get the idea of why. I tried very hard to hold my tears and I did try to look behind but unfortunately the door is quite narrow for me to have him on my sight, and the nurses wheeled me without stopping. And then I remember the look from my husband, he was torn in between to accompany me and to stay back and comfort our son. How my heart ached; and all I could do was just looked away to hide my feeling..

.... to be continued ...