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Monday, May 21, 2012

Another Series of 'Less Than 2 Weeks.'

Hello again. Happy Monday folks. If I remember correctly, in less than 2 weeks my family and I will finally depart from Brussels, to return to Malaysia for good, upon completing our terms in Belgium. Well, needlessly for me to say, finally the reality started to kick in upon seeing piles of clothes that need to be pre-arranged, pre-washed and pre-selected to be put into categories of 'hand carry' or 'shipping'.

It is quite challenging, since we have been living in Brussels for more than 3 years, there are heaps of collection of clothing were collected. Especially mine. From the dress size of 10 (size after giving birth to Umair), to the size of maternity (during pregnancy with Dana), to the size of post-pregnancy of dress size 14, to current dress size of 8. Yet to be included, the accessories, casual attires as well as formal attire, shoes, etc.

Perhaps, managing those stuffs, plus with the anxiety to restart working, and the concern of the kids-care upon returning to Malaysia, somehow did affect my waist-line. I would like to share how I easily gain another 3kg in just 2 weeks, that was about 2 months before, all because of my craving for an instant stress-fighter. I was terrified when the scale that was reading 51 suddenly raised to 54. I believe I had over-indulged myself with a lot of high fat food in just a week at that moment. Just imagine, having nasi briyani for lunch and dinner, and snacking for ice-cream as supper. And the next day was having nasi lemak with sambal and rendang, for lunch and dinner, and crunching biscuits and chocolates as supper. Then nasi ayam, the next other day masak lemak cili padi.. Not to mention the increasing caffeinated drinks intake per day, and munching chips between meals.

Since a few days ago, when finally I get the hard truth of the fact that what must be done, has to be done, somehow I lose my appetite. I subsided, I rearranged my clothes silently, I tried to enjoy my free time with my kids by singing and dancing with them, ticking and make funny sound with them, hugging and kissing them, I quietly pushing my fears aside. Of course by any means it is still there, waiting around the corner. I wish it will never come any closer to me, as I really want to cherish this few moments with them. And today, I lost about 2kg. Leaving me from 54 to 52, in just 3 days.

Well, I just hope I didn't lose too much weight to quickly, as I need energy to begin a new life. Being a breastfeeding mother, I need to have enough good milk supply for my Dana. Alhamdulillah, this weight lose hasn't encounter my milk production yet. I really hope, I pray very hard, I wish I could supply Dana enough breastmilk until she is 2 years old, as Umair had received when he was younger. I hope there would be some times, if not plenty of times, a couple days would do, so that I could prepare foods to my husband and my children.

About those, oh I have no words to describe my mixed feelings. All I care about those boxes now are they need to be packed as quickly as possible. By then perhaps I could be headache-free. Once I finished with my clothing, then I could continue completing the children clothing, and then the domestic item (towels, blankets, etc). My husband did his own clothing arrangement, most of the kids clothing, plus the kids toys, books, electronics items and some other things.

I guess, that's all for now. Let me just finished with the packing and perhaps when the time is right I could continue writing. For now, I need a good night sleep. Tomorrow is another day,some more clothes waiting to be packed.

Peace be upon you.

Monday, May 7, 2012

Dana.. The Story of A Little Princess


Upon birth
One thing I admired you is your ability to sleep through the night.. It was indeed a very easy postpastum period especially during the nightime, and I did get enough rest at night. You were very generous with smiles, and without any reason you will smile. But one thing I rememberer, how you refused to be swaddled, you will kick your tiny feet and wriggled your hands free from your little blanket.




1 month

You still sleep through the night, and I was very thankful with that, and during the day you love to smile. I remember this hospital photographer came, and she said you were very camera-friendly. And seeing you in that album, you were very photogenic in that book!



2 months 
I think this is was the time when you started to learn that you have a brother. You'll get excited whenever abang Umair hugs you.. You smiled like always, and always very happy. You kept on checking your brother whenever he move around, or making noise. At this age too you always babbled 'aahhh' continously, gnawing fingers, mostly the thumb and point finger. I really thought that you will have tooth very early, and perhaps I need to be extra prepared whenever the tooth emerged. And you did still sleep through the night, and I thank you for that.

  


3 months 
You had your first travelling experience, we visited Disneyland Paris, and we stayed over daddy's friend's house for a night. It was raining the day we rode to Paris, and daddy was driving the car. But you have been a very good girl, you didn't cry a lot during our 2 and a half hours travel by car. And in Disneyland, you really behaved and it was a pleasant trip.

Finally the babbling has a sound, you started to babble 'bwah'.. And I remember you really loved to gnaw a fist, so funny when I think about it now. As if one fist really could fit your tiny little mouth. You did enjoyed sitting in the 'Fischer Price' rocker, listening to its cheerful tone, and at this age you know how to pay a smile back when mommy or daddy smiling at you. And you still sleep through the night.


4 months 
At four months you had your first flight experience. We were going for holiday, or 'balik kampung' as our people would say for the Eid Mubarak for about 3 and a half weeks. We spent 20 hours of travelling time, including the transit flight and transit time. But you behaved so wonderful as we didn't have any problem during the flight. And I mean both flight, from Brussels-Rome-Kuala Lumpur, and from Kuala Lumpur-Rome-Brusels. Both of you, you and your brother received praises from other kind passengers for your both good behaviour. 
At this age you began to show interest in food. You finally called 'mamma'. I was so thrilled back then. You brother has began calling me 'mimmie' but you started with 'mamma'. And you started to roll over clockwise. When tickled, you will chuckle! You always smiles broadly whenever daddy or I communicating with you, and giving us intense eye-contact. You also started to slide backwards, and you showed your interest to grasp toys out of reach.



5 months
I was quite confident that your teeth will emerged very soon when you babbling almost all of the time while gnawing your fingers. And yes your clothes were always wet with excess saliva, and I did put your bib on to control the trip from wetting your cloth. You started to reach for bright-coloured toys, and you do enjoyed being put into standing side by side with your brother. You also gave us the toothless big grin and loud chuckles whenever tickled. You started to take food from my hand into her mouth. new consonants,'papapa', 'bababa'. starting to wake up sometimes in the night for milk.



6 months 
Finally you mastered crawling on knees, but so funny when you move backward at first. By 6 and a half months, you finally crawled forward. Whenever you saw me, you always smiles, but always worried when mummy was not around. You showed interest to play together with your brother, you pick some of your brother's trains, and you really loved to being put jumping on bed side by side with your brother. At this age mummy now start you on solid food, and we began with plain rice porridge. Unfortunately you hated it.. But I was surprised when you ate that porridge with chicken soup.. That was supposed to be you brother's meal but I know then it was tastier with soup than prorridge alone. And I taught you skill how to drink from cup, and guess what? You are easy learner! And funny stuff you did, you loves to put your mouth on my skin, and 'blow..





7 months 
All of us were thrilled when we saw you started to pull yourself self up, 'walking' from a sofa to another sofa. And you were just 7 months old! You already mastered the crawl technique, but you really need full supervision. And why did I said so? You loved putting things into mouth, mouthing almost everything. I read somewhere that was one of the sign of teething. 
You always sneaked on your brother's milk bottle, as if you really want to taste it.  And I was so proud when you mastered drinking from a cup, less choking, and you managed to control the amount of fluid you sip. You also could ate biscuits independantly. You also had your new experince sitting in high chair, and you really enjoyed that! You will scream whenever your toys were taken away. When I tried to hide some toys in front of you, you always notice the location. You always babbling 'abababa' to call 'abang'. And what melts my heart was when you happily watched videos on youtube with your big brother. And there was one incident happened, for the very first time you able to climb out from walker by your own, causing you to fall, luckily nothing bad happened, and that was the only reason why daddy and I decided to put away the walker away in the box for good.





8 months
By now you started to accept the fact that you will have to sit in you baby seat during our outing with car. Sometimes when you almost asleep, you did this funny stuff, you mumbled, as if you were singing or humming to sleep. And whrn you sleep, you never stay put like before, instead tossing and turning around.  I caught you once trying to get higher by climbing on your brother's motorcycle to reach inside the toy box. By now you had your own desire to choose toy to play, and will get very upset if any object in your hands was taken away. If you saw that mummy was not around, you will immediately look at the kitchen. And you started to refuse if mummy give you to daddy. But when mummy hold you, you always looked at daddy with head slightly fell on one side, and gave a little 'pick-me-up-smile'.. Your words were now varied, you said 'mama' when you asked for me, you said consonants 'emmmah' for indicating hungry and want to eat. You mouthed 'abba' which means 'abang' when you want to play with your brother. Every morning, you will clim and went across mummy to reach to your brother to kiss him.. You always laughed when mummy did silly dance, and getting excited when your brother join mummy to dance. You get worried when 'abang' cries after being scold. Funny thing you did qas you seems to 'sing' with an up and down sound made up from incomprehensible vowel and consonants, especially when you were playing alone, and when you sat in your baby car seat. By now, you were no longer the camera fans, it was getting difficult for me to take your picture smiling. And I do believe you are getting more social, you love to make eye contact with strangers, but will refuse if they offer you a lift. And at this age you were first time given chicken as meal, and you really love potatoes!



9 months
Every morning, you would wake up and immediately looking for your brother to kiss him on the head. You always trying to find chances to pat brother on the head, as normally mummy and daddy did to him. When mummy open arms, you would race to throw yourself to me. And when all of us were lying down on the carpet, you would happily crawled across each of us. You also love musical children show, especially 'Louie, Draw with me' and 'Tinga tinga Tales' Tv series, 'Thomas & Friends', and 'Chuggington'. And I was surprised when you did like 'tandoori chicken'! When mummy sing, you would make sound along as if you was singing too. When I was busy cooking in the kitchen, you loved to hug my leg, standing and tapping, demanding to be picked up.




10 months
A day after officially turning 10 months, you finally standing on your own! That was excellent my dear! You also recognized things like star, bear, and always point finger to things that interest you. You almost mastered climbing down from bed. One time I caught you successfully climbing coffee table on your own! And now you also can hold a small bottle to drink on your own, as well as using sippy cup independently. You had yoir first taste of nasi lemak with a bit of kuah rendang ayam, and I was excited when you finished the portion I gave you! By now you started to have your own desire, you will protest if the toy fron your hand were taken away. You could find object that has been hid, for example I hid cooking utensils in one of the cabinet, and you always know where did I always put them away. I noticed you were getting very attached to daddy, whenever daddy reach home from work, you will quickly go to daddy, offers your two little hands demanding daddy to pick you up. You also prefered to have the same meal that you brother have, and more interested to eat from the same bowl/ plate. You also knew how to assemble lego pieces together, knowing how to play with cars and trains, and you also love animated object. When mummy play silly games using silly voice over the soft toys, you will get excited! And you always offer me a kiss on cheek. You also mastered patty pat, clapping hands, and really love twinkle-twinkle little star song.
By week 3, you know how to wave byebye and say 'baba'. And you took your first five steps on 21th March 2012!





11 months
Right now you were master on walking. It was very seldom we see you crawl. You always laughing, and you love to 'shout'! You seems to enjoy hearing your high voice, and you enjoyed it even more when you brother was doing the same thing as you. At this time my dear, mummy was not so happy, I am very sorry my dear, I was very anxious to go back home. I was too occupied on taming my worries than spending the valuable time with my kids. Hmmmm. And you had your first hair cut done! Especially by mummy! With love of course! 




You loved to play fight with your brother, that was very cute! And you were more curious than ever, and braver than your brother. You would go to the kitchen alone although I switched off the lamp. But if you couldn't find me anywhere you would cried 'mamamama', and that was heartbreaking my dear. I am sorry I have to do that, I wouldn't be able to spend time as much as I had now when we move back to Malaysia. Therefore I need to ready you mentally to learn to accept that mummy wouldn't be around for some time, but will always come back to you..




12 month, Happy ONE Year old to Dana Sufiya!


Oh dear, you were not well.on your birthday. We met Dr. Eva a day before your birthday, as you had quite a high fever two days before, with diarhhea and vomitting. Mummy and daddy were not sure what was the cause, but perhaps to your lack of appetite during our visit to London. You only want to eat rice, and refused yogurt, bread, or cereal. But the doctor said it was because you were teething, and its normal to have fever, diarhhea and vomits. But since you lost few weights due to the vomitting amd diarhhea, the doctor adviced mummy to control your diet, only rice, carrot, white meat from chicken, banana and apple, plus mummy's milk and water, so that you wouldn't get upset tummy. 

So on your birthday, we bought you an apple tart. And we had our little birthday celebration. But you ate your tart very little, and you looked lethargic. The day after we finally decided to bring you to E.R, and you were admitted to ward for I.V. and observation, as your blood pressure was quite low, and you looked tired. That was your first experience being admitted to ward, and mummy stay with you a night. 



Nonetheless, you became much stronger the day after, and we pray my dear, mummy, daddy and abang Umair, we pray for your health, may God Bless our family, and always Bless our Heart, Guiding us to the right path of life.  and have Mercy on us. I pray my dear, may you grow to be 'solehah', always become a lovibg and kind person, clever and passionate about life, have strong faith, and always beloved by others. Never forget me my dear. I love you.



Friday, May 4, 2012

My Kids, My World - Talking About Umair

When talking about kids and children, I am very proud with my little man. He definitely one strong boy, and very confident for his age. He has the bravest most pure heart, yet he could always be the most passionate person on earth. He loves cupcake, and sweets, and I would never hesitate to bake him cupcake with topping if he request for it.


He cried for me the last time I was about to be wheeled to operation room. And that really touched my heart, I swear by God I did listen to his cry of love. And ever since he saw and understand that he now have a small sister, he forced himself to learn how to compromise that actually Dana need mummy more than him. There were moment when he tried to test my patience, demanding sorts of things whenever the sister cried for attention. Honestly, it took me great patience to handle such behaviour, and deep down I knew he was just missing the full attention he once had before he had little sister. But nonetheless, he is indeed one good big broher, he really loves playing with his sister, although there were times they would 'fight' over toys and attention...


When there are chances for him to snuggle with mummy, he never refuse, he quickly ran into my open arms. He quickly want me to hug him tight, and this funny thing 'nak mummy peluk one thousand', I want mummy to hug me one thousand times. And whenever he offers me a kiss, he will pout his little lips long before they reach my lips. I know, he really missed mummy's touch, the utmost attention he had, sleeping with mummy, snuggling with mummy, mummy play with him. But yet he had to struggle to accept the fact that mummy have to give more to Dana than him.


I remember this one incident last week (as been retold by my dear husband). I was quite handful with preparing breakfast, while my husband was to look after the kids, when my dear son request for a Prince's Biscuits. So I gave him a pack of biscuits, it has 3 pieces of biscuits in one pack. And I said that was the last pack in that box so I told him to share with Dana. He ran happily to the living room, and I heard his little voice inviting Dana for a biscuit. 'Dana satu, abang Umair satu' - One for Dana, one for me. I remember hearing that and smiled.

Then after a moment, when I almost finished cooking, my husband came. His face reddened, the eyes swell, but he was smiling brightly, and told me, 'Do you know what happened just now between our kids?' 'What happened?' I asked him. 'You know that when the biscuits was just one piece left, our Umair didn't finished the biscuit by himself. Instead he looked at his sister, as Dana at that moment was looking at him, he decided to split the biscuit to half and give one part of it to Dana. So generous of him I couldn't help but touched'.
Well, I do respect him generousity towards his sister. He do have the soft heart for his sister, though there were moments he tried to get our attention by getting Dana to cry. But from one perspective, I knew that wasn't done with purpose, he is still very young to control his gentleness towards his sister.


And Umair is so into Thomas & Friends tv series. He just really admires the character of Thomas. Knowing that my husband and I, we had decided to visit again Sodor Island at Tamworth in Great Britain one last time before we return to Malaysia for good. And he was soo excited, and we even spent a night at the Thomas themed room, and had the exclusivity to have breakfast with Thomas Character.

And today is Dana one year birthday. We were going out today doing some shopping, and since Dana is still not so well we cut our visiting hours, and reaching home at 7pm. Everyone is tired, but I insist my husband we need to at least celebrate a simple birthday celebration for Dana. Since it was almost impossible for me to put some time to bake a cake, we bought an apple tart instead.

What we did was I stick one candle at the tart, and we sang the Birthday Song, and took some pictures. Funny thing when came the blowing candle moment, Umair didn't want to blow it unless Dana is blowing as well. And after the tart was served, Umair really want to feed her sister the tart, but since Dana is not so well, she refused and cried.

And now its getting late. Tomorrow will be the house cleaning activity after some days going in and out. I have plenty of things to finish tomorrow, need to wash the soiled clothes, empty the kitchen sink, vacuum the carpets, fold the washed and dried laundry, cook for breakfast, lunch and dinner, and monitor Dana medications.

So ok, we'll meet again in my next post, I hope. Have a great weekend!

p.s. May Allah grant us strength to overcome the anxiety and the fears, and may Allah give me strength to control my feelings and cure me with millions of gratefulness. amen.

Thursday, May 3, 2012

Murah Hati dan Rezeki

Terkesan seketika dengan kisah seorang sahabat, kini sedang sarat mengandung, kerana terlalu mengidamkan nasi ambeng, lantas mendail nombor pembekal nasi ambeng yang menyediakan khidmat penghantaran, namun hampa apabila dimaklumkan perkhidmatan mereka tidak menyusuri kawasan tempat tinggal sahabat ini, dan ada pula jumlah minimum untuk melayakkan penghantaran ke alamat yang diberi. Maka pasrahlah sang sahabat mungkin ini bukan rezekinya. Selang beberapa ketika dia menerima panggilan meminta alamat untuk penghantaran nasi ambeng. Betapa gembiranya tidak terkata pabila tiga bungkus nasi ambeng dihantar oleh syarikat tersebut. Hingga menitik air mata bila nasi itu diterima. Syukur Alhamdulillah besarnya nikmat Tuhan, betapa murahnya hati penjual nasi berkenaan.

Maka ingin saya mencoret sepatah dua tentang ikhlas dan kemurahan rezeki ini. Mungkin apa yang berlaku cuma sekadar kebetulan, mungkin juga sudah begitu takdir tertulis. Namun yang pasti kita semua yakin dan setuju, perbuatan baik pasti dibalas dengan kebaikan, dan perbuatan jahat pasti dibalas dengan kejahatan, kalau bukan di dunia ini, di akhirat kelak.

Teringat suatu ketika diri ini sarat mengandung, terlalu mengidam akan sesuatu makanan biasanya mudah diperolehi di Malaysia. Masya Allah, betapa tak tertahan serasa ingin sahaja menangis kerana tidak dapat yang diidam. Maka redha dan pasrah sajalah diri ini, andai itu bukan rezeki diri. Suatu hari minggu, kami sekeluarga berjalan melawat satu pekan yang letaknya lebih kurang sejam perjalanan menaiki kereta. Hajat suami hendak belanja makan sambil bersiar-siar. Agaknya sedang.cuba memujuk ibu mengandung yang mengidam sesuatu yang sukar diperoleh di negara orang. Seronok juga jalan-jalan makan angin, membeli keperluan baby, keperluan mummy, shopping baju.. Kebetulan bertemu dengan rakan Malaysia yang tinggal di situ, selepas beberapa ketika kami berpecah membawa haluan masing-masing, kemudian mengambil kesempatan pakat untuk singgah minum petang di salah sebuah restoran sambil berbual-bual. Apabila hendak pulang ke rumah, saya dikejutkan dengan dua peket makanan yang menjadi hajat mengidam saya! Wah terasa hendak melompat kegembiraan ketika itu! Bergenang airmata ketika menerima bingkisan itu.

Itu cerita dua tahun lepas. Rakan ini yang sudah berkeluarga, punya dua cahayamata, ketika itu memang hendak menimang lagi cahayamata ketiga, tetapi belum punya rezeki. Nah siapa tahu, tahun ini teman itu kini berbadan dua! Alhamdulillah, mungkin sekali rezeki itu adalah ganjaran dariNya kerana ikhlas menyampaikan hajat orang yang mengidam, ikhlas membantu, mungkin tidak cepat, tetapi sesuai dengan keadaan dan situasi semasa.

Seorang lagi teman, saya kira ceritanya lebih kurang sama seperti teman yang menitip bingkisan tersebut. Tapi yang ini memang didatangkan khas dari Malaysia. Saya kira dalam kesibukan jadual kerja, dan tarikh penerbangan yang semakin hampir, beliau sanggup bersusah payah mendapatkan saya makanan yang saya hajatkan. Saya terima lantas ketika itu jugalah saya memeluk dan menitik air mata kegembiraan! Kata suami bercahaya wajah saya ketika itu. Alhamdulillah kini beliau sangat bahagia di sisi suami dan seorang cahayamata yang sangat comel.

Walau apapun kebetulannya, saya tetap yakin bahawa atas kemurahan hati mereka itu maka Dia memberi mereka rezeki yang tidak terhingga nilainya. Hanya Dia sahaja tahu nilai ikhlas seseorang, dan kita tidak berhak mengatakan sebaliknya. Terpulang padaNya bagaimana rupa bentuk rezeki yang ingin dianugerahkan. Ada yang dapat cepat, ada yang dapat lambat, sesuai dengan apa yang terbaik buat kita ketika itu. Perancangan Allah tak siapa yang tahu, tapi yakinlah perancangan Allah itu yang terbaik. Seperti juga kisah teman saya dengan penjual nasi ambeng itu, semoga Allah sahaja membalas kemurahan hati mereka. Amin.

p.s buat Ummu Mustaqim, semoga dipermudahkan urusan kelahiran bayi anda, dan Ummu Aida Adam, tahniah atas berita tersebut, dan buat Ummu Muhammad, tahniah atas kelahiran cahayamata yang selama ini dinantikan..