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Friday, July 2, 2010

I can still recall, our last summer...

Listening to a song, 'I can still recall our last summer' from the movie Mamma Mia (my DS favourite movie), makes me wonder, will the song be my song when we return from this posting, back to our homeland. Hmm,love the song, love the lyrics, so sweet to my ear. Wish my husband can play some instruments and play and sing this song to me.. :P hee.. how naughty my mind! I used to have this ideal man figure when I was younger, I love to be with a guy with lots of sense of humour, caring, lovely singing voice, can play musical instruments.. haha.. I know my husband wouldn't mind me writing these, as he already know about this, I did tell him about how should my future husband looks like during the courting time.

But again, I am writing about the song, this lovely song, and happened to be my husband he's also a fan to this song.. AHA! that would do enough for me for him to be the perfect husband according to my unrealistic ideal man figure should be.. hehe..

Yesterday was so hot, and really somehow depressed me, (depressed is a tough word, I should think about saddened me.. hihi) And today, while I'm writing this blog, I can feel the heat of the sun burning my back.. ahh.. I'm not a great fan of the sun. poor husband, too many jobs in the office, and I hope he did manage to arrange his priority in life. hmm.

Last night he took me for a surprise movie treat, guess what? ECLIPSE! haha.. bet my friends in Malaysia turned to green if they do hear this. In Malaysia, the release of this movie will be on 7th July, while here in Europe the premier was on 30th June. Lucky me!

I love to watch the coolness yet so 'bad guys' ish Jane Volturi, carried by Dakota Fanning in the movie. She's so cool, and I can't wait to watch the finale.. Just to watch her, again! In the book, it was told that Bella will manage to fight Jane, and I am so anxious to watch that! One more great character, if the person does exist was Alice Cullen.. it never enough to watch her move, how cool she fight.. Secretly I wish I have her cool character.. or do I? hahaha... surprise me..

Having my husband beside me, watching Eclipse together remind me our sweet time watching Transformers 2 together.. so unromantic to my perception! ahaks! but nonetheless that movie was totally awesome even for me who is not a fan of that movie could fall in I love after watching!

One thing surprised me last night when my husband decided to go to office in the middle of the night... (what?) He was too absorbed in his jobs he said he can't sleep well to think he need to finish this and that before tomorrow. Better for him to finish part of the job so he could sleep with some peace in mind. I still remember, I was asleep while waiting for him to join me and little Umair at home, I texted him it was 2.30 in the morning.. and his reply, will be home in a while..

And this morning, he left house I think it was before 7 am... Well, I can't tell the exact time as I was still sleepy when he kissed me 'good morning dear, I'm going to office now'. I do understand my husband he's just an officer in the office, a junior officer and he's expected to perform in his job for his carrier building.

Want to know how I feel? My heart cried every time he push himself over the limit that I think I couldn't manage. He's forcing himself for our better future.. Though I do feel kind of alone here, husband at job, at home with cousin and my son.. when people in a married relationship, that husband and wife knot is so much different than the others, it can raise a person up or crush someone down. And I desperately want to be the most supportive wife I could be, but being alone to share my feeling to myself, really testing my way of thinking...

I did mentioned before being a full time housewife could dull a mind, I believe somehow I am infected with some of the symptoms, and I need to overcome this boredom, overcome this dull signs, overcome this fears (when I weight the matter again, it may come from my own fear, living abroad, far from relatives and friends), overcome this and that, and building back my attitude and confidence in managing my home.

I know I can get through these silly thinking.. some may said I should be grateful, some may say I should never think of these.. but saying things and living things are different, one could never understand my situation, and even one manage to imagine, the image that portrays will never be exactly true.

Hang in there dear husband, I'll be your guardian queen, I am your supportive back, and I'm pulling myself out of this silly surrounding of mind.

Dear friends, pray for my strength, God, please help me, help us, help our family. and again, forgive my English..

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