Friday, July 16, 2010

What An Evening..

I'd like to start my blogging today by sharing a piece of 'my-kind-of-nerving' experience, driving a sedan car in Brussels road! whoa.. I can still recall the shakiness of my knees (though I have a driving license, but driving a right-hand-drive car in the 'right-lane-driving' with a 'right-priority-road-drivers', huh...). At first I was pretty shaky, but after a drive to Cora, crossed the main roads, and drove back home, somehow I think I managed well. And I think I was so SPOILED, (I mean being a passenger though I can drive) my husband said.. 'you can drive, but you took the other lane to be yours too' and read my reply, 'I told you, to me, if the car is moving, then it's fine'.. haha.. funny and so spoiled me.. (wished I can gather all my courage to drive better, maybe I will, soon) And this happened this very evening, after we had our dinner at home, with Briyani Rice with Briyani Beef Curry and Turmeric Fried Chicken. my recipe.. will share later in my next blog.

Anyway, credits and credits for my beloved drive coach, my husband for his support and his pushiness (ampunnn daddy!! :P) that makes me drive again today. We bought a lot of groceries, to stock the kitchen today. We are going to have guests coming over this weekend, all the way from Paris for a sleep-over as they want to celebrate the shopping month in Brussels. And I found a nice white knee-length cardigan, with a nice beige vest to match, just for the price of 20 Euro! NICE... thinking about persuading my husband again.. hihi..

When we reached home, my special carrot cake with walnut and choc rice, topped with brown sugar glaze has already set, and ready to be 'munched'. hmm.. really tasty, and I got the recipe from internet, but I changed some ingredients as they weren't available at that moment. (again, will share in my next blog). my husband requested a 'nada mojito' a mexican drink, originally supposed to be served with alcohol, named 'pina mojito' but they change the recipe a bit to suit those who don't take alcohol, like us. and he bought some prawns, and I grilled them in oven. So for tonight's supper, we treated ourself a mojito mix, carrot cake, and grilled prawns..

I still remember when I went for a walk with cousin Qin and my baby boy Umair to Carrefour last Monday.. it was a good walk, a good exercise especially for a housewife like me, and I did sweating, and the weather was just nice, accompanied by the soft cool breeze.. so refreshing! After about 1 hour walk and done 'sightseeing' at Carrefour, we decided to move home, when I realised my son's cap (was bought by my husband, he chose the colour, it is shocking green Tommy Hilfiger cap for babies) was missing.. OMG.. what has happened?

we frantically searched in the backpack, under the stroller, between the cushions of the strollers.. and found nothing. we were already in the main road to go home when we decided to going back searching the cap at Carrefour. I remember my son protested as he didn't like sitting in the stroller, but we strapped him anyway, yet he threw everything away. but I couldn't remember the cap. After 30 minutes of 'search and rescue' mission, and asking the salesgirl for help, and asking help from the information desk, I was so devastated, crushed, and so frustrated. What a careless mother I am! I almost cried, and I held my baby, and remember hold back tears and kissed my baby as I was so mad at him and myself yet loving him as well, and I can imagined how frustrated my husband will be if he hear this news.

Finally, just about 30 minutes before closing, I thought, one last look, then we go home. True to words, when we are calm, everything will be clear. And we did found the cap, someone has been kind enough to put the cap just on the eye-level on one of the display rack. What a relief! Then after telling the salesgirl and the desk lady I found the cap, we walked home, relief, and tired.. but smiling.. what an exercise!

My little naughty clever boy did it again.. oh my.. No words can express my true feelings, but I gave him kisses anyway.. I guess it was a lesson to me, to entertain my son as well as I entertaining myself with window shopping. And he is only 20 months old!

Friday, July 2, 2010

I can still recall, our last summer...

Listening to a song, 'I can still recall our last summer' from the movie Mamma Mia (my DS favourite movie), makes me wonder, will the song be my song when we return from this posting, back to our homeland. Hmm,love the song, love the lyrics, so sweet to my ear. Wish my husband can play some instruments and play and sing this song to me.. :P hee.. how naughty my mind! I used to have this ideal man figure when I was younger, I love to be with a guy with lots of sense of humour, caring, lovely singing voice, can play musical instruments.. haha.. I know my husband wouldn't mind me writing these, as he already know about this, I did tell him about how should my future husband looks like during the courting time.

But again, I am writing about the song, this lovely song, and happened to be my husband he's also a fan to this song.. AHA! that would do enough for me for him to be the perfect husband according to my unrealistic ideal man figure should be.. hehe..

Yesterday was so hot, and really somehow depressed me, (depressed is a tough word, I should think about saddened me.. hihi) And today, while I'm writing this blog, I can feel the heat of the sun burning my back.. ahh.. I'm not a great fan of the sun. poor husband, too many jobs in the office, and I hope he did manage to arrange his priority in life. hmm.

Last night he took me for a surprise movie treat, guess what? ECLIPSE! haha.. bet my friends in Malaysia turned to green if they do hear this. In Malaysia, the release of this movie will be on 7th July, while here in Europe the premier was on 30th June. Lucky me!

I love to watch the coolness yet so 'bad guys' ish Jane Volturi, carried by Dakota Fanning in the movie. She's so cool, and I can't wait to watch the finale.. Just to watch her, again! In the book, it was told that Bella will manage to fight Jane, and I am so anxious to watch that! One more great character, if the person does exist was Alice Cullen.. it never enough to watch her move, how cool she fight.. Secretly I wish I have her cool character.. or do I? hahaha... surprise me..

Having my husband beside me, watching Eclipse together remind me our sweet time watching Transformers 2 together.. so unromantic to my perception! ahaks! but nonetheless that movie was totally awesome even for me who is not a fan of that movie could fall in I love after watching!

One thing surprised me last night when my husband decided to go to office in the middle of the night... (what?) He was too absorbed in his jobs he said he can't sleep well to think he need to finish this and that before tomorrow. Better for him to finish part of the job so he could sleep with some peace in mind. I still remember, I was asleep while waiting for him to join me and little Umair at home, I texted him it was 2.30 in the morning.. and his reply, will be home in a while..

And this morning, he left house I think it was before 7 am... Well, I can't tell the exact time as I was still sleepy when he kissed me 'good morning dear, I'm going to office now'. I do understand my husband he's just an officer in the office, a junior officer and he's expected to perform in his job for his carrier building.

Want to know how I feel? My heart cried every time he push himself over the limit that I think I couldn't manage. He's forcing himself for our better future.. Though I do feel kind of alone here, husband at job, at home with cousin and my son.. when people in a married relationship, that husband and wife knot is so much different than the others, it can raise a person up or crush someone down. And I desperately want to be the most supportive wife I could be, but being alone to share my feeling to myself, really testing my way of thinking...

I did mentioned before being a full time housewife could dull a mind, I believe somehow I am infected with some of the symptoms, and I need to overcome this boredom, overcome this dull signs, overcome this fears (when I weight the matter again, it may come from my own fear, living abroad, far from relatives and friends), overcome this and that, and building back my attitude and confidence in managing my home.

I know I can get through these silly thinking.. some may said I should be grateful, some may say I should never think of these.. but saying things and living things are different, one could never understand my situation, and even one manage to imagine, the image that portrays will never be exactly true.

Hang in there dear husband, I'll be your guardian queen, I am your supportive back, and I'm pulling myself out of this silly surrounding of mind.

Dear friends, pray for my strength, God, please help me, help us, help our family. and again, forgive my English..

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Seeing things a way round..

It's been quite a while since I last updating my blog. Somehow I kind of missed writing stories, as I always do when I was still a student. I read a book, bought by my DH, 'Diplomatic Baggage - Trailing Spouse', somehow the book do reflect my way of thinking here. And I'm still in the middle of reading the book, while consuming ideas on how to start my own journal, (that was what my DH inspired me to do, while sitting around here doing nothing but being a faithful housewife).

And now, my journal is still in progress. I'm still trying my best to create a very readable journal that's almost resembling my life here, yet still manage to draw the supposed obeyed line throughout my writing. (well, being a diplomat's wife do requires lots of patience and skills to make something unnatural look so amazingly great). Maybe I could say my journal is still about 5% done, I do have the big idea written, and I've create chapters, and all it needed is a good and creative writing, humorous and passionate. (pray I do have that ability, fingers' crossed!)

I realized I do, and I still have the passion to write, but somehow I think I have this problem of starting the first paragraph, what a classic writing problem. I swear that this was never be a problem to me, and I strongly think I have to, no, I must to start writing again, put my mind into work, and sharpen my skills. Being a full-time mother, plus a full-time housewife is never been easy. Some people may disagree with this, although it is a bless, one has to tackle the bless smartly. Too much time makes room for too much chores. Too much chores may dull the mind, dull the once a very opinionated woman, and may decrease the level of attractiveness of a lady. I think it may be the result of too much thinking over home management, which in turn glued one from embracing what happen outside the house, too busy to realized the world has changing, too shy to socializing, too worried to shop alone, too nervous which may disturb a relationship.

After all, this just my opinion. Of course I'm so grateful and thankful for this opportunity, being away from job for a while, staying at home, raising child on my own, enjoy my husband's salary - in a good way if you understand what I'm saying, ;), and plenty of time to pamper myself.. I never imagine I could have this kind of life, thank you soo much dearest husband for these...

Yet, from my own side of side, my personal side of mind, I do think I have to take a drastic change of way I'm seeing things, I should write a book, create lots of new recipe, shedding some kilos before next plan, another child perhaps? To manage all these require good time management, in between of managing a house, managing closet, managing lunch, dinner, breakfast, managing guests, managing upcoming events, managing being pleasant, smiling, feel good although in reality not so good, being pretty...

What a thought..