Monday, June 20, 2011

If You Forget Me

I want you to know one thing.

You know how this is:
if I look
at the crystal moon, at the red branch
of the slow autumn at my window,
if I touch
near the fire
the impalpable ash
or the wrinkled body of the log,
everything carries me to you,
as if everything that exists,
aromas, light, metals,
were little boats
that sail
toward those isles of yours that wait for me.

Well, now,
if little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you little by little.

If suddenly
you forget me
do not look for me,
for I shall already have forgotten you.

If you think it long and mad,
the wind of banners
that passes through my life,
and you decide
to leave me at the shore
of the heart where I have roots,
that on that day,
at that hour,
I shall lift my arms
and my roots will set off
to seek another land.

if each day,
each hour,
you feel that you are destined for me
with implacable sweetness,
if each day a flower
climbs up to your lips to seek me,
ah my love, ah my own,
in me all that fire is repeated,
in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten,
my love feeds on your love, beloved,
and as long as you live it will be in your arms
without leaving mine

Original Author : PABLO NERUDA
Image : click LOVE

p/s I dedicate this poem especially to my dearest husband, with all my heart, I love you... Happy Father's Day darling... though this entry may come a bit late, I always loving you no matter what day it is..

Friday, June 10, 2011

Rest Well My Friend.

Today, I received a shocking news, a friend of mine (a colleague in SMK Cyberjaya) has passed away this morning (Malaysia time) due to complication after successfully delivered a healthy baby boy normally. It was said that after the delivery, she managed to hold her baby and have complained that her body aches terribly. After quick investigation, the doctor found out that she was overly bleeding and they decided that her uterus must be removed to stop further blood loss. But God's Will, she passed away during the operation. And that was her forth child, after 10 years since her third labour.

Honestly, I was really shocked, I don't know what should I say, or what should I think. I am speechless. She was truly an honest person, a very kind lady indeed, and it's a shame to lose someone as dedicated as her in the education field. I wished I could come and pay her last visit, but that is impossible.

Although she fell after the great battle to deliver her fourth child, there would be greater rewards waiting for her 'up there'. I was told that it was slightly raining today in Malaysia, even during my writing now the weather in Brussels is also quite cool and cloudy. It is said that these are the sign that she now is being taken care by the 'Greatest Power', and perhaps that was the best life closure for her in this world.

I pray that her husband and her four children could manage well, and may they become stronger and supporting each other every days. (God, help them, give them the strength that they need, and flourish them with all the memories of her)

May Allahyarhamah Puan Rokiah Mosin rest peacefully now.. And May God Bless her kind spirit and soul. Amen..


Confinement Period - Self Management

Today is my 37th day of confinement, which I successfully managed alone abroad, with plenty of helps from a very patience hard-working cousin and a very thoughtful understanding loving husband, as well as my charming two and a half years old son. Most people would ask, how did my confinement going on here? Or question like, who look after me here during the confinement.

Months before the surgery, I already collected a lot of infos from the web, prepared a 'manual book', as guidance on what to expect after a cesarean birth, and a 'special recipe's book for c-section patient'. I've wrote in one of my previous post on how I studied how to do self-care after a cesarean labour, and I kept them under a file as a reference. They really helped me a lot to gain confidence to overcome my fears to undergo the second cesarean.

What did I do for the past 5 weeks? My routine is almost the same. After being home for 10 days, when the staples has been removed, I begin my routine slowly. Every morning I would clean my face and brush my teeth as quickly as I could, and then feed Dana. Dana always get up early around 5-6am for milk every morning. There would be several times she would wakes up for nappy change and feeding between 2-3 am. At most she would wakes up only twice in the middle of the night. Oh.. how thankful I am! In the early days things somehow drained my energy, as I couldn't And she seldom cries.

Hmm, where was I? Oh, my routine. Then my husband would prepare for work (weekdays), while my son usually still fast asleep, and only wakes up normally after 8.00am. During that time, I'll steal some quick minutes to tidy the bedroom, put away the toys, Dana's burp clothes, and sometimes I pressed my husband's working shirt. Usually I'll press my husband's shirt twice a week in the midnight after Dana's asleep..

When my husband ready, he'll carry Dana and guiding Umair to go downstairs, while I get change and join him for breakfast. After he go to work, often I would continue with the laundry. Next I'll join my son at the living room, and nursing my daughter. My cousin she insist to do the cooking (she's practicing to become a good cook). For three hours straight I would be playing with my son, while nursing my daughter. Having a growing toddler who is smart and active really get the best of me, and usually by lunch time I'll be quite exhausted. He's currently mastered all the alphabets, and demands to watch ABC clips all the time. Counting this day, it's been 3 weeks straight we were entertained with ABC clips and song, from morning, afternoon, evening, and night. It turned out to be a war over the TV lately.