Saturday, March 5, 2011

From A Mother's View

We mothers nurture, that's for sure. We wish the world to be populated with charming sons and graceful daughters, all for the future's sake. And to achieve that, we need men to father the children, as human being could never be created without the conjoining between a man and a woman.

But to allow that, one should never be mistaken that by simply 'getting one's pregnant' is enough to create a human being. There should be an emotional bond between the parents, as parenthood is one big responsibility shared between the man and woman. To make the bonding and the sharing meaningful, God demands that man and woman to be tied in a Blessed Union, till death do us apart. There lies the teaching of religion. In order to achieve this, we were taught with knowledge of the importance of good deeds and the evil of sins.

Before a woman become a mother, it's very important (and encouraged) for her to be able to carry her role as a wife. To be a wife is actually to be able to survive in training ground to practise parenting skills, though she's not yet a mother. The basic knowledges include managing a house chores, exposure to kitchen's affair, polish the creativity to create a home out from a house, and of course the most of all being the loving partner to her man, all of these are essential to make a woman ready enough to be a mother.

Though the contribution of man in creating a human being is clearly (and usually) from the victory of 'one in a million seeds' to pass the barrier of one (sometimes more) egg, it never (and it will never be) seen as a small effort nonetheless. We women really grateful with the presence of men in this world. We feel a lot more secure and safe when men is around. A real woman always seeks for attention and love from a real man. Especially during pregnancy, when women become most vulnerable, the feeling is most fragile, and susceptible to emotional breakdown.

To be honest, most of this insecurity comes from a mere jealousy. Seeing another woman looking so thin (thinner than a mother with bulging belly), graceful and beautiful somehow do inflict a certain pain to a pregnant mother. It sounds ludicrous, but the sight of a much younger or leaner woman to a pregnant mother's eyes somehow remind us the lost attraction we once had before (and yet to be regain). We are torn between wanting back the right porpotional figure before pregnancy and the unconditional love we experience for the child in the womb. Logically, it's truly impossible for a mother to have this kind of thought, she may be seen as if she hates the child she carries (a real mother never hates the child she carries), yet deep down inside us we still have this dark desire, we always wanted to have a voluptuous body line. To tame this concealed craves, we nurture our thought by pouring all the love and attention to the child in our womb.

Sometimes during this process, we forgot to actually practise our full role as a wife to our men, as we are too absorb in taming our 'craves for a hot body'. It doesn't mean that the man had lost his love over a baby from his woman. We mothers never forget the man that fathers our child, in fact we are truly grateful for the willingness of that man to faithfully stay with us during the pregnancy. When we are in our most vulnerable phase, we tend to demand extra special attention, that sometimes look ridiculous to one's view.

We know it took men utmost willingness to look past all the limitations we experienced during our pregnancy, and we always want our men to be reassured that we truly appreciate the efforts given. We know it's funny, somewhat annoying, when us pregnant mother demands for certain things (often these demands circling around foods and beverages), that sometimes requires man to travel 100km to get one. We never wish to actually burden our men, and sometimes we silently buried the desire deep inside us in order not to disrupt our men's mind. And usually by doing this, we couldn't help but being so out of ourself, crying and pulling back sanity, while at the same time desperately potray a happy face. Even us pregnant mothers never understood this kind of emotional meltdown, and why does it happen.

We pregnant mothers do faithfully believe that our men will always love us no matter what, but yet we still always have fear, that we may lost our attraction to a much slender woman. It's sound impossible, when we are assured, there shouldn't be any doubt arise. Weird, yes. Woman can be very difficult to understand as our mind always wanders, therefore we always need someone to guide us.

We do have this ability to agree on two contrasting views, as we tend to value matters differently. It's the nature of a woman. We rejoice youth and beauty, and love and peace. It's a mixture of everything. When we get pregnant, we (secretly) grieves over the lost of hugging figure for 9 months, but at the same time we do rejoice the growth of a young body inside us. When we get old, we (secretly) cries for the wrinkles we have, but at the same time we are delighted to see our children grow. When we have children, we (secretly) became stressed, but at the same time we do enjoy their company.

But yes, women can be very unpredictable. We tend to act out of feelings and insticts. A pregnant women could easily feel insecure to be around a younger and leaner women (which often regarded as the vision of beauty) but those younger and leaner women (especially those who still haven't got children) are also can be easily feel insecure to be around pregnant women. She have this sort of tendency to feel envious, as she's not yet able (through various of reasons) to 'produce' a child.

Whatever the reason is, no matter how ridiculous it may seen, we pregnant women love being adored, especially by the person we love. Carrying the offspring of the one we love is the greatest joy on earth that demand sacrifices, as we pregnant women are expected to be willing to trade our best silhouette and our sense of freedom from pain and anxiety, embracing the fear to face the greatest pain during labour, and risking our life and the child's life during labour, and we always reminded by our own mothers to try our best to make everything meaningful, as if we are really fit and energetic to maintain our lifestyle to be as normal as it was before we get pregnant. And by willing to undergo all the challenges (perhaps difficulties), I feel it's not too much for me to say that perhaps we deserve the best treatment during this period.

And to our men that do indulge us during this pregnancy, it's truly one big sacrifice that we pregnant mothers will never forget, in fact we honestly do appreciate them so much. Believe us, all those indulgences would never be forgotten. We never forget good times (and of course we also never forget the bad times as well). We women are easy to be satisfied. All we need is (are) love and care, a lot.

All from a mother's view.

To the child in my womb, rest assured, your father is always the greatest man in the world. And you'll never lost your mother's love. And don't forget, you have a brother. He'll be your best brother in the world.

How about me? I love my man, my boy, and my child in my womb. They are my life now. I pray, may God Bless my family forever. To my husband, I love you, and forever I will love you, and it's always my pleasure to share you the joy of parenthood. I love you dearest, and I thank you too for giving me this joy of motherhood..

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