Thursday, May 15, 2008

Chapter 2 : Daddy-to-be

Tomorrow, my dear husband will left me again, to Korea! Wahh... How I wished I could join him abroad, even though he will be there for only 10 days. Tomorrow, my sister will stay with me while I am 'single'. Hmmm... so many things to do, so many jobs to be done.

For the last couple of days, I was having mild fever, my husband brought it from Sabah. Thankfully, it's not that bad, but when all the symptoms were combined together, the morning sickness, the mild nausea, the bloated feeling, it makes me suffered somehow... It's not that easy, really, to be a mommy...

Right now, I am here in my office. I still have that nausea feeling, and I do realize, it wont be over just like that. But, soon enough, it will subside...

My dear daddy-to-be... He shall be at Korea... I long to be there too... I wonder, when I could join him? huhuhuhuhuhu...

I am going to miss you!!!! So very very the much much more!!!

(pardon my English)

Thursday, May 8, 2008

Chapter 1 : My Little Angel

I was so angry this morning. My cat, my precious little kitten, she jumped on me when I was trying to have a nice cup of Milo. What would you think happened next? I drop that cup of Milo, and it had smeared my sofa, the floor and worse, my dress! What a mess! I put Lulu outside, on my balcony, and I wiped the stains. It was all over the floor. At the first place, I have a happy 45 minutes left to drive to office, but after that incident, I only have 20 minutes left!

Abang is not home, he left me yesterday morning. He was attending this pre-posting courses since the last 2 months. And this week, he have to attend a study visit to Sabah. Sabah is my hometown...which adds to my misery and made me homesick, somehow... Well, it's been 8 months since the last time I was with them. And now, I have no one to talk to when I was home. Lulu? My precious kitten? All that she know is biting and scratching and making me jumped.. The idea to have a very nice soft talking and chatting? Maybe not now... She's too playful... Sometimes it's really irritates me. What more I can say, she's too young to understand she have to respect her master.

Right now, I am at my office, thinking about that incident this morning. Thank God, I do have a big reason to stay measurable calm, and remain positive all the way noon.

So do happen yesterday, I feft sick and I call offduty to my office. I managed myself to drive all my way to Klinik Kesihatan Putrajaya after resting at home for a while. I decided to do a maternal check-up. And I was so proud yesterday when I braved myself to undergo blood sampling test. I was scared to death to needles, as it was very painful. The nurses injected me at three different area on my armsas they found that it was hard to locate my veins. Actually, I was not sure about that...

I did request an ultrasound scan, as I am not really sure when was my last menstrual period. I was totally excited when the doctor mentioned that she did see the fetal heart is beating and the baby is moving. The baby is now 9 weeks and 4 days old! Can't wait to watch the baby grows... I was quite tired and I can't see it clearly. But I believe I do saw what the doctor said is the baby's heart. It is pumping, and I know I saw it yesterday. To my relief, the doctor scheduled another ultrasound san in a month to confirmed the due date.

I went home, smiling and when I told Shah, my Abang, my beloved husband, and Alhamdulillah... we can only pray for the best of the baby and us. He can't wait to watch our baby through the ultra-sound scan next month.

I put a very high hope that this pregnancy will survive, as we already lost 2 pregnancies before. And that's really puts a smile on my face, even though Lulu is still scratching and biting, and my husband has not yet home... he will be home this weekend. Yeay!

Do wish the best for us. Dear God, give us strength to move on, and relive our live happily as ever... amen.

Friday, March 28, 2008

Love Note2 : Mencintaimu

Mencintai mu
Seumur hidup ku
Setia menanti

Walau di hati saja
Seluruh hidup ku
Kau tetap milik ku

Hanya satu yang tak mungkin kembali
Hanya satu yang tak pernah terjadi
Segalanya teramat berarti di hati ku

Mencintai mu
Seumur hidup ku
Kau tetap milik ku

Love Note1 : My Shah

Something to share…

Well my friends, I’m sharing one of the most sacred histories between us, which never being told before in details, which I really appreciate it so much, which I’ll never forget it, which has sparks the love charms between us…

I still remember our first day outing together… How badly he had persuaded me to join you at BTN camp… At first I was determined not to join it, as I had already bought the bus ticket to Terengganu… I was going to cancel my entry, but, he were persuasive enough to ‘force’ me join him… and that’s the first step on how we become so close… is that true?

He told me before that he was willing to accompany me to Putra as long as I go to the camp with him. He told me that it won’t be fun if I was not joining him. He told me lots of stories to convince me that joining the camp was ‘wajib’ and for those who skip the camp will receive penalties from the university, which at the end prove that his statement was not really right. (hehehe…)

I was quite stubborn at the first place, as I’m not really used to go out with boys, whom I just met for a few months. But he insisted that no matter what is the problem, he will help me go through it, as long as I still keep him as a friend, not just a simple friend, but a much closer friend… (but I do understand your feelings to me at that time, but both of us keep pushing it away…)

Well sweetheart, I still remember, when we walk together, take a taxi ride to Serdang LRT, and sit quite far, (a person for 2 seats), and we chatted almost everything together. We chatted about love, about what will happen if the world turning around, what will happen if… and lots more… I still remember one of your most controversial questions, if ….. really important in a relationship… the answer? I think you still remember what your opinion is at that very moment, and how that opinion has changed a lot through times, which indicates that you have grew more mature day by day.

And then the camp, I felt so bad, to apart from you where we were regrouped so that we were not in the same group. I was kinda touched when I saw that look, which showed me a lot how much you want me to be one of your group mates. And then the rumors which we spread to everybody, that we were cousins, which supposed to explain why we were so close to each other. Somehow our rumors had not influenced this one person, which become our close friend for years.

She knew the look between us is not happened because of any family ties, but something else. She is the one who sees the love connected between us, long before we were close enough as today. I knew something about you from her, she told me long before that you really hoped that you had met me earlier instead of …. You told her that it was really fun to have me around, and you were really looking forward to be closer to me. But because of that ‘big’ reason, you were forced to hold back your feelings to me… I knew your wish, that you had hope to have me more than just a close friend, more than just a little sister, you wish that we were more than a partner…

And now, somehow everything was turning upside-down, you choose me because you were fully convinced that I could always be near you when you need somebody to be next to you. You believed that I could colours your life, giving you much more variety in relationship. Even though I am not really the one that matched your ideal partner, I am stubborn, talkative, sometimes get moody easily, but you do found some high qualities in me. You told me that I can learn something easily, you told me that I am very loyal, very understanding, very fun companion to be with, very sweet enough to melt your heart, which I am really touch to realize it… What a wonderful world it is… to have you by my side…

To those out the in the cyber world, pardon my English… I just want you to know, my feelings to him… are so deep and I can’t explain it… I do pray that all of you out there do wish for our happiness, and hope our loves will always blossoming forever…

“Dear God, I wish that Dewi and Shahril will live happily ever after, amen…”