January,
- hard to swallow the truth, lost a 3-months baby after quite-a-long-awaited-pregnancy.. cried all night, busied self with works, spending night-time in husband's arm.. menses a bit disturbed, well, what to expect? still remembering the last joy and the shattered hope, and still wishing life would be better again..
Februari,
- getting in control, but deep down the pain still bled. enjoying new workplace activities, kids sports day.. hmm, everybody was so kind..
March,
- excited, when again missed menstruation for about 2 weeks, finding self rushed to Guardian, bought UPT a few.. and Voila! Positive.. tears welled.. and husband super excited, and freaked! (i've just had a miscarriage.. so quick!) went to HPJ for confirmation, was told to come again for next check-up when the baby is 12 weeks..
April,
- went for first check-up.. super happy to witness the first scan, seeing the little heart beating, so thankful! ALHAMDULILLAH.. thankful to Allah.. for the Bless.. no figure-worrying anymore, will protect the baby so he shall manage that journey.. eat everything, tried to slow down at work, putting less stress.. blocked other pressures that requiring putting job first, everything for my baby..
May,
- hubby left for a short-course at Korea.. huhu.. 'I'm a big girl now!' was my new phrase of encouragement.. I knew I am capable, I can manage everything, going to work, handle myself.. when husband is away for about 2 weeks..
June,
- dutifully went for monthly check-up.. and super excited watching the baby growing inside my womb.. my first thought "it's a he.." and that became our best bedtime stories ever.. guessing the gender of the baby..
July,
- felt the little kicking from the womb.. here and there.. everytime, baby loved the sound of shower, moved so excitedly when am showering.. every morning, will woke mummy.. workplace was just getting busy, our department was selected to contest in Bilik Sumber Anti Dadah representing Sepang and Selangor.. whoa..
August,
- was shocked, still remember how baby kicked from the womb, and woke his father..
September,
- almost cried, when my beloved husband almost forgotten my birthday! naughty him.. i wept silently the midnight of my birthday, as he didn't wish me anything.. thought he'll be the first, but? then came a very pleasant surprise, when I woke up in the morning, and just after showered, while putting clothes on for work, I saw it! just inside my closet, A BIG RED HEART pillow! with a simple and adorable love letters.. just what I need! THANK YOU DEAREST! then.... I received my birthday kisses and hugs.. and baby also received his kisses through mommy's tummy!
October,
- was surprised, admitted to Hosp. Putrajaya, the doctor suspected premature contractions.. (?) huh? but then, things turn to normal again.
November,
- earlier, my husband was signed to assist the PM's visit at Uzbekistan.. and I was about counting the day the baby will see the world.. still remember my husband exact words, "baby, wait till daddy return home, ya? daddy really love you! can't wait to be the first to hold you..". during the moment, I stayed with my parents-in-law, and was already registered to deliver at Hospital Besar Melaka. Then my husband returned, he brought me back to Putrajaya, to accompany him while he need to settle few matters. 3 days after, I admitted to Hospital Putrajaya again. This time, the contraction was real.. I still remember I asked for permission to have breakfast before admitted for good that morning... and my husband and I, we ate at Precint 8..
25.11.08
7.00 am - was getting a morning shower, when blood-like sticky mucus appeared 'down there'. kind of panic for a while, but still remember calming myself, and tried to register, if there's any pain.. no.. I felt no pain, but I do knew that's one of the sign. I remember the 'weak contraction without pain'. Then took shower slowly and dressed carefully..
8.00 am - husband was surprised when told, and he quickly washed himself, and 8.30 am, rushed to Hospital Putrajaya.
8.30 am - after short discussion, the nurse in charge agreed I should be admitted, but I was hungry, told the hospital I need to get some breakfast, and was advised to return as soon as possible..
9.00 am - breakfast at Presint 8, with husband.. remember ate Nasi Goreng Cina and Milo..
9.30 am - admitted to the ward.. and all the waiting game started..
11.00 am - waiting game with husband.. he went back home at 1pm, and pack the things i need..
2.00 pm - still felt the contraction, but no pain..
6.00 pm - kak iza and en rosli came and visit me, and I remember ana and imran drop in to say hi, and now the contraction was more intense, and I felt the pain on and off.
8.00 pm - the contraction was more intense this time, yet husband was asked to leave, to have some rest, and come back again tomorrow morning.
11.00 pm - my bedmate already delivered her daughter.. congrates! I remember the painful feeling I have, and the 'arghh..' and 'urgghh..' I've made, and I feared if I disturbed her and her new baby.
26.11.08
1.00 am - I was so sleepy, but the pain was so intense. I tried my best to keep calm, but to no avail, that was too hard. I was restless at my bed, tossing and turning around, keeping my voice down.
2.00 am - tired and sleepy, and so in great pain, I rang the nurse I couldn't hold it any more. After checking, the 'door' was opened about 3 cm. they decided to 'break the water' to help easing the labour process. Advised me to walk around, to help 'opening the door'.
4.00 am - am sooo tired, soo sleepy, soo despair in pain, can't really hold it anymore, I was taken to the labour waiting room, and was told the door was already 5cm wide. husband was called, and I remember he looked so tired, and sleepy, but kept looking steady to be by my sides.
8.00 am - doctor on duty came, and checked the 'door', I remember he said, 'it's only 3 cm, who said it was already 5 cm?' I remember being soo dizzy, soo sleepy, soo tired, soo painful.. Oh God..
10.00 am - the midwife and the head nurse and the doctor arrived, discussed with my husband, that that was prolonged, and they said if continue with normal delivery, mother may have no energy to push the baby, and the fact that the 'water' has been ruptured earlier could be dangerous to baby if waited a bit longer. I remember the worry of getting a C-sect, but that's the option at the moment.
10.30 am - was pushed to the OT, and was asked to signed few forms. I remember being asked what is my name, my IC number, my husband's name, while I was in great pain. I tried my best to keep my voice down, and I remember one of the nurse somewhat yelling, 'jangan bising-bising la.. sakit sikit je tu' ahh.. how I wished to speak back at that moment, thankfully I was so in pain I couldn't comprehend any words.
11.00 am - injected with epidural, then I remember the miraculous feeling, I felt no pain at all.. I couldn't really watched as they put this large screen in front of me, but I remember the feeling of dull pinching, dull pulling, as if someone massaging my tummy. Then I remember feeling something taken out from me, and then a cry... I remember I was shown my baby, the gender, but I hope they were letting he hold my baby, I haven't got the chance to hold me just after the operation, they just took my baby, and the last thing I remember, after the stitches, I was pushed to this recovery room, and they asked me to get some sleep, while they cleaned my baby.
2.00 pm - I was pushed back to my room, where my husband's waiting, my in laws, Kak Iza and En. Rosli, and I remember I can't feel half down of my body, I longed to see my son. My husband reassured me they'll take him just in a while.
2.30 pm - Finally Umair Iskandar arrived, in his crib, everybody was so eager to watch and admire him. I remember some of my husband's friends visiting, Musyiri and Farah, and the husband of my new roomate. He told us his wife is in the delivery room, and haven't come out yet.
8.00 pm - My mother in law stayed a night to accompany me at the hospital. She helped me when baby cried for milk, as I still can't get up, and was in great pain at the incision.
And lots of other experiences I couldn't really put into details..
December,
- life's so beautiful, with new baby arrived. stayed at Melaka with my in-laws, my mother-in-laws took a week off to care for me, and then my mom came over to look after me a week after. Husband was away 10 days after delivery for BTN's courses. Upon his return, there was rumour that he's due for posting in just a while. was so grateful for kak iza's and en. rosli's kindness to buy me fresh 'ikan haruan', and my mother-in-law cooked it for me to feed myself. am really touched, my father-in-law bought me a 'pati gamat' from Langkawi to help me during this 44-days period of recovery.
......... to be continued ...........
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